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Friday, January 15, 2016

Awaken The Athlete Outlook

My feedback and outlook at the moment is positive.  The first few training sessions back can mean nausea, feeling weak or light headed especially if you were once fit and forget that you have to progress, going in a bit more pushy with your body than it can take.  My back tends to complain a bit at that stage too until its conditioned again by getting put through the paces.

I have to say that even so I did not get into major detail about my history with specifics I have enjoyed getting some of these things onto this blog. I will touch on a bit more detail in my personal situation. I faded from the fitness scene the past 3 years and it feels good to be getting back to it the way I used to be. It was a much bigger part of my life and day than it is now in reference to my workout, competing and being in Beastmode. I felt strong inside and out, I want that again!

Today I'm going to speak more about my outlook so far.

Up to now it's been touch and go over the past few months with keeping weight on, getting my body to accept food without nausea, double over pain, and headaches. The actual appetite and hunger had been almost nonexistent. For me the hard part here won't be the workouts so much as the eating. Many times I am forcing it because half the day had gone by and it took that long to work up to eat, once I eat the digestive machine is not working properly. There was this tug of war between knowing I needed to eat but my body telling me that if I tried it was coming right back out. Waiting out for times I was not nauseous meant a meal a day maybe? If I force it and it did return, I was a mess for a day or 2, who wants to eat after that? So it would be a fine line.

Last year I had tried a few things that seemed to help, since much of this is tied with stress and the mind. I still was light headed even just to stand up, and my weight lowered to 105. My brain could not function right with no fuel so I was between survival mode and warrior mode all while being in a fog, I made it through and now I am free externally………the next step is freeing the mind and heart. Awakening The Athlete.

I figured out that I am gaba deficient which is a brain chemical, one of a few major ones we have naturally that if off balance can make us feel as though we get stressed out easier, more sensitive, depressed and so on. If you google this, you will see most of us are gaba deficient and many get misdiagnosed with certain mental issues when its simple imbalance. Take the test, Eric Braverman is a doctor who is forefront on this subject, google him and his book the Edge Effect.

Doctors will usually give you prescriptions for these issues, pills that I personally have issues with. I have never taken anything outside Advil and asthma meds but I watched my borderline mother from 1989, when my father died and her doctor gave her benzodiazapines, slowly become an extreme mess of an addict. But this was a closet addict alcoholic, which I care gave for, for half of my life and abused by for the first half of my life from the moment I was born.

This is stuff people never see and would not believe if you told them, there is no help. It was from the point my dad died until she was finally driven to commit suicide by those who wanted to use her to get at my dad's house, for the money, where the addiction became tormenting to her and those around her. She had dementia progressively and different kinds coming from differing issue. This coercion was planned and was done in her end days, before that no one gave a hoot about her but me and no one was around no matter how many close calls she had. I kept her alive all those years and they came in and within months had her deteriorated.

This has a lot of things attached to it, my life was in danger, I was stalked, these people wanted the money and getting me out of the picture next was their objective at almost any cost. My mother had children before she met my dad, I was his only child. Anything legally or illegally was pulled by these individuals, a team of them trying to destroy me just to get money, and not a lot of it either. Its easy to recruit others when the possibility of money in their hands is present. These people did not need it and were expecting a lot more than they got out of the whole ordeal. I am sure there is more in this regarding vengeance for things that came into play before I was even born but now I am dealing with the emotional impacts this can have on someone. Sadly this was relatives by blood but it was non blood who used relatives to orchestrate this, so the battle for me was one against many, against lies and premeditated plans. I was clueless about this for years.

In the past 3 years there were times I had to come up with exorbitant amounts of money just to keep up the fight, I had to sell things, forfeit medications and food just to keep the lawyers getting some retainers so that 'they' would not succeed in making me destitute. I could barely work, but being I love my job and clients, work was a draw not deterrent. My dogs and work was the only thing that kept me from ending it at times.

There is so much more I can tell you that would turn you white……I think that’s enough detail now. You can probably imagine the magnitude of damage this caused my health. So this is why I am at a restarting stage and blessed to have survived this ordeal while making lemonade out of the lemons left over. I know many of you have things that affected you too, extreme stories no one hears about or empathizes with that affect your health and motivation but it's irrelevant, we need to ingrain the fact that….. We are to stand on our own feet so let's do it! One achieves a sense of invincibility when overcoming things, the bigger the 'thing' the more strength you breed.

Back to the gaba, I rather find natural options to help me than go on meds and I know its my answer.

I have tried some appetite options like astragalus tea and getting on the gaba which did start my healing last summer, but fell off the wagon when Diva died. I'm not saying drugs do not have their place and can help but make it the last resort.

Now that things are done and over with the external stresses that were being imposed, the ones inserting themselves into my life and trying to control and manipulate the situations around me for negative purposes, I am working my way back into the world slowly. I still need to spend time alone with constant meditation and quieting of the mind but I know the nutrition and exercise is the next logical step and I'm ready. I still get triggers from the oddest random things and look forward to the progress I know comes with the fitness portion of things. It's huge in helping mental and emotional, and that is a scientific fact!

I keep fluctuating from 115 to 117 and want to gain a bit more to get me to a place of health I am familiar with. I have several nutrition back up plans for my case.

Next week its stats and detailed plan. You get to take a peek into my workout, sets, reps, exercises, and diet plan. Learn new exercises to try, recipes to test and focus on the positive part of this process. I hope in this you are able to personalize my ideas and story to fit your needs.

You should have some draft of your plan at this point, polish it off and join me next week as I get my butt off this desk and into the gym and kitchen!

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